theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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