i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Send help, water and tortillas.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
