just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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