I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
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He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
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