bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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