My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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