All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
