No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
