I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
