I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
It's never too late to be topless.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
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