I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Randomize
