Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
