took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
