He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
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Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
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