alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
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i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
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I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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