i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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