is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
My feet surprised me
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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