grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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