wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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