So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
