Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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