I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
