just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
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