it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize