i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Randomize
