I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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