Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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