You can't special order awesome
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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