Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
