and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
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Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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