All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
