So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
