Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
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