you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
