when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
