Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
