yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
