put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
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She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
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