i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
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WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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