So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
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