I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I still have a little drunk in my system
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
