Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
