too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
