if you like me you must not know who I am
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?