she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...