He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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