in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.