i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Dating After Heartbreak
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.