you traded sex for a burrito?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.