i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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