6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
