Cold hands, warm shart.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
