Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize
