Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
