I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
