So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
