I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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