About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
