The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
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He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
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I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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