I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
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