when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
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The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
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I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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